When someone goes to see a psychologist with a disorder, difficulty or discomfort, in most cases there is added difficulty for those around them to really understand what is happening to them Reiki certification.
Many people, with the best of intentions, try to advise, indoctrinate or educate to help those who have an illness. In most cases, these “aids” are counterproductive and can generate more frustration for both parties.
I offer you some ideas so that, if you find yourself in the situation of living with someone who suffers from psychological discomfort/disorder, you can offer the best help:
- Listen without judging.
When he wants to talk to you about what is happening to him, adopt a relaxed and close posture. Show that you are interested in what he has to tell you, even if he has repeated it to you on more than one occasion. Try to maintain eye contact and not be in multitasking mode. Listen to everything they have to tell you, with an attitude free of judgment, without categorizing or, much less, diagnosing. Although it may seem like it is of no use, for many people it is very therapeutic to be able to express what they feel and what happens to them. It is not always necessary for the recipient to be an expert in psychology. - Don’t minimize (or maximize) their problem.
“That’s nonsense”, “you’ll see that it will soon pass”, “are we already doing the same thing again?” Far from helping, all these statements can increase the feeling of frustration of the person who suffers from not being able to overcome something that seems so simple to others.
“You are not well”, “this is very serious”. These statements can worry the person suffering excessively and worsen their symptoms.
Some phrases that you can use to comfort the person and give their problem the right importance it has could be: “I see that you are suffering”, “we can look for solutions together” - Animate without pressure.
A very common characteristic of most psychological problems is that the person stops doing some things they did before the symptom, whether due to fear, lack of motivation, etc.
You can encourage him to resume some activity that previously comforted him, but without pressuring him to do so. To do this, you can also propose to be his companion in that activity, or some more feasible or simple alternative. - Ask permission to talk about the topic and to get closer.
Would you like us to talk? It can be a good way to start a conversation about that person’s problem. Never talk to a third party about someone’s problem in front of them. Always let the person who suffers talk about their own problem. - Don’t focus on their symptom.
Many times, people who suffer from psychological discomfort tend to focus their concern on the symptoms they have. That is, perhaps someone with anxiety focuses on the fact that they sometimes have difficulty breathing, or that they eat compulsively. Another person with depression may focus on their feelings of sadness and lack of motivation.
In the first stage, it is very good, as I mentioned previously, to listen attentively and free of judgment to everything that the person has to explain. However, far from inviting you to act as a psychologist, you can encourage the person to investigate what may have made them feel this way. - Do not advise or give lessons.
“What you have to do is…”, “You should do” “What happens to you is…” Even though you may have gone through a similar situation yourself, remember that not all of us face problems in the same way, so something that worked very well for you may not be a solution at all for someone else. Yes, you can talk about your experience and how you found solutions (that can be very enriching for the other person) but, as always, from a position free of judgment and without expecting the other person to go through the same steps. - Offer professional help without stigmatizing.
If you see that this person has been living with their discomfort for a long time, you can encourage them to go to a mental health professional to put an end to it. Don’t give them a list of psychologists you’ve sought out or who have been recommended to you. You can tell him that talking to an expert could perhaps help him much more than just talking to people close to him. Also remind them that you don’t have to be crazy to go to a psychologist, but that sometimes it is very useful to improve certain difficulties.
If they are open but have some resistance or fear about going to a psychologist, you can offer to help them find a good professional or even accompany them to the consultation as many times as necessary. However, unless the person asks you to, never speak through their mouth. - Remind him/her how you feel about him/her.
Whether the above tips work for you or not, remind the person who is suffering from time to time that you will be by their side no matter what happens, and that they can count on your support.
You can remind him/her of the things you like about him/her and why you love or appreciate him/her.
This is very comforting for people who suffer and, even if they don’t know how to thank you at that moment, it helps them to know that there is someone who, despite everything they are going through, is there for them. - Cultivate your patience and take care of yourself.
As I told you above, each person needs time and learn their own resources to overcome certain situations. So, be patient and remember that, although it may seem like it at times, the vast majority of people do not suffer of their own free will.
You may falter at times, since accompanying and/or living with a person with a psychological disorder/discomfort is a very difficult task.
Don’t feel guilty if you sometimes get angry or frustrated, or if you need a break. In fact, in order for you to help someone well, the most important thing is that you don’t forget to take care of yourself.