When it comes to anger in children, there is often a fine line between normal emotional expression and problematic behavior. You want to control child anger without making the child feel like he or she is not allowed to feel mad or disappointed or frustrated.
Learning to experience a range of different emotions is important, and kids will start expressing themselves at very young ages. However, if children are not taught to express those emotions in healthy and productive ways, they will have problems with anger as they grow older.
An inability to deal with anger can lead to other social and behavioral problems as well as anxiety and depression.
Most experts agree that there are several ways to control child anger. You can either work with the child to talk through it, try to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible by redirecting behavior and feelings and finally, by seeking professional help through counseling or child psychologists.
You might also find it beneficial to combine all three choices, depending on the situation and the child.
Talking about the anger and the course of events that lead to anger is a good solution for a child who is verbal and able to express himself or herself well. Older children can talk about their feelings and tell you why they are angry.
Show them that you understand how they feel and offer a few ways to work past the anger. Children might respond to drawing pictures of what makes them angry, writing stories, or just talking to an empathetic adult who they perceive to be “on their side.”
Sometimes, kids just need to be heard.
Another way to control child anger is by redirecting that anger. This is particularly effective with toddlers or small children who are not quite able to express their feelings or recognize that they are angry.
For example, if a temper tantrum erupts because one child takes a toy away from another child, rather than asking the child why he is angry, you might want to just remove him from the situation and offer him another toy.depression counseling
Getting professional help is often necessary if you notice signs that the anger a child feels is disproportionate to the cause of that anger. When a child becomes physically violent, or attempts to hurt himself or others, professional intervention is often necessary.
Sometimes as a parent or a caregiver, you just don’t know what to do. If you have tried everything; talking about the anger, redirecting the anger and offering other ways to deal with strong feelings, and your child is still unable to recover from intense feelings of rage, talk to a therapist.
As you attempt to control child anger, remember that sometimes you both simply need a time out. Sometimes, you talk too much about it and whatever caused the anger takes on extra importance.
Finally, remember that children learn by example. Pay attention to how you and the other adults in your household manage their anger, and make sure you do it in healthy ways.